I hadn't intended to go to my cousin's funeral.
That sounds terrible, I know. And if I had chosen to focus on the 18 year estrangement of various factions of my family from each other and my own 15 year estrangement from my uncles (hey, Greeks are a war-like people, what can I say?), I could have patted myself on the back for the fact that I had gone to the wake and let it go at that.
But if you knew the littlest thing about me, you would know that I recognize an inner dragon when I see one. And, once I see one, I have to slay it. It's a sacred covenant I have with myself.
And, should I get tempted to walk away from a soul-defining battle, I have some very powerful people watching my back. Powerful people who won't let me slack off. Powerful people who say just what I need to hear to remind me of how powerful love is and the miracles that can unfold when we Show Up.
To prepare to attend the wake, I visited with my dear friend and spiritual Rock of Gibraltar, Mike Schwass, (http://www.dontblamethegame.com). He shared with me some of the last conversation he had with his dear friend, Blackhawk's Keith Magnuson a month before he died.
You have to show up. Just your presence can be so powerful. You have to show up.
Mike has a way of planting seeds in my head that grow...and grow...and grow. Guru-types are like that.
This brought me to a lesson from an anonymous reader at my blog this week:
You can criticize or you can educate.
"Anonymous reader" chose to criticize my falling prey to a pervasive myth on Chinese calligraphy interpretation but never gave the slightest clue to how I could correct my path. All I got was, "sorry, you are wrong, seeya."
Thankfully I am naturally inquisitive, so I was inspired to do research and enjoyed learning more. However, I could just as easily been hurt, embarrassed and defensive at being publicly defrocked as my unwitting blunder was exposed to my readers.
But since I also believe everyone is a Buddha here to teach me something I paid attention to what was really happening here.
You can criticize or you can educate.
The biggest reason I was going to avoid the funeral was due to my own belief that everyone in my family was going to do it wrong. That it would be a fiasco. That my grudge-holding family, in the midst of chaos and tragedy would just pour fresh gasoline on fires which had been smoldering for 18 years and I didn't want any part of it.
No, I just wanted to sit in the woods and meditate and not be soiled by the whole thing. Not be irritated. Tempted to jump into the fray. Resurrect my Greek Evil Eye.
You have to show up (you big weenie).
The truth is I did know how to show up. Sure, there is something familiar about being pissed at my family. It's just so easy. And, face it, anger is energizing. Gossip has a certain seduction to it. There's momentum. Criticism is so easy.
But love is more powerful.
Yes, it's a harder place to hold. It takes work. It takes a conscious conviction to stand for love when there are so many temptations to blame, to judge, to criticize. It's easier to walk away.
It's easy to walk away until you realize that your very integrity is on the line. I'm either walking the talk or I'm not. I'm either adding to the love or I'm adding to the pain. I'm either criticizing or educating.
You have to show up. Just your presence can be so powerful. You have to show up.
I showed up.
I'm here to tell you that my 15 year estrangement from my uncles has ended. We talked. And hugged. And the one that was most difficult to reach, who has been estranged from the entire family for 18 years accepted an invitation to come to my home next weekend. He even came out to the parking lot as I was about to drive away to make sure I knew the best route home.
My uncle's laughter is one of my favorite sounds of all time. It's brilliant and silly and mischievous and infectious. It is the sound of everything that was ever right and good in my family. And next weekend, his laughter will fill my home.
Laura Young is a personal development and business coach. She is a contributing author to A Guide to Getting It: Purpose and Passion and Become Your Own Great and Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading a Real, Big Life. She has recently been featured on By, For and About Women and Artists First Radio. To learn more about her, visit http://www.wellspringcoaching.com
To visit Laura's blog, visit http://antwatching.blogspot.com
Maternity Photography Specialist Chosen By Miss America 2002 Katie Harmon
There are a lot of photographers that serve Vancouver, Washington and surrounding cities, the Greater Portland, Oregon area, and Orange County, California.
Nearly all of them will claim that they too do maternity photography. However, even a brief search shows that preciously few specialize in this … and only one has been garnered with praise, appeared in eight top publications, and has their work displayed as art in locations as diverse as maternity clinics to yoga centers. Only one has been chosen to be the exclusive family photographer for Katie Hamrom (Miss America 2002).
Selecting Your Plus Size Maternity Work Clothes Wardrobe
Around the three or four month mark of your pregnancy you will want to buy some maternity clothes that are appropriate for wearing to work. Many women now work almost up until their baby is born and they want to look professional at work. When your clothes start to feel a little tight you should start thinking about purchasing maternity clothes.
Plus Size Maternity Clothes Now Easier To Find
It used to be a challenge to be a pregnant plus-size woman. Fortunately both local stores and online shops now stock plus size maternity clothes. If you look carefully you also should be able to find good sales on maternity clothes that will help you maintain a budget. Keep in mind that, after all, these are only temporary clothes.
Maternity Clothing - What Every Woman Needs To Know About Maternity Clothes
Let's face it: maternity clothing is ugly and expensive. Since most women don't need to wear maternity clothes until the second trimester, at most you'll only be getting six months of use out of those ugly $200 overalls to cover your ever expanding stomach. I couldn't bring myself to spend thousands of dollars on a new wardrobe when I already felt so ugly, so I resorted to making my own for as long as possible. For example, I really didn't want to buy old lady underwear that would cover me from my belly button to the tops of my thighs. They were hot and uncomfortable anyway, but there aren't many sexy maternity panties around.
Plus Size Lingerie: Stylish & Sexy Lingerie
Back in the day, plus-size women had little hopes in terms of finding sexy plus-size lingerie. Most of the material was uncomfortable and the varieties available were less than perfect. Finding seductive lingerie for a plus-size woman became an unfeasible undertaking.
Munro's Safety Clothing Adds Two New Wrangler® Jeans To Their Line of Fire Resistant Clothing
Munro's Safety Apparel, one of the nation's leading providers of safety clothing for the workplace, is very excited to announce the addition of two new products to their line of clothing. Munro's has added Wrangler® FR Cowboy Cut® Original Fit Jeans and Wrangler® FR Cowboy Cut® Relaxed Fit Jeans so that people on the job who prefer the fit and comfort of Wrangler® jeans can enjoy the exact same Wrangler® fit and style that they prefer with the added safety and benefit of flame resistance.
Great Top Picks For Nursing Clothes And Maternity Clothes
Many first time moms often think that once they have their baby they can just slip back into their pre-pregnancy wardrobe after a week or two Not so
Maternity Clothes For The Plus Size Woman
Being pregnant is one of the most joyous and happy times in a woman's life, although having to buy plus size maternity clothes is certainly something no woman really looks forward to. Having to buy plus sized clothes is bad enough, but plus sized clothes with room for a huge belly? Forget about it, right? Luckily, there are some fabulous plus size maternity clothes out there that are fashionable and can make you look great, no matter how plus sized or pregnant you may happen to be. Who said big girls can't look great in their clothes? Plus sized maternity fashions just got that much cooler!
Beautiful Plus Size Clothing is Available for the Sexy Full Size Women
America is known for its population of larger people. Men and women alike have a hard time finding plus size clothing that is in style. Though the population of the country is larger, the fashion industry is more revolved around those who are teeny tiny. This may affect both men and women but none worse than the beautiful plus sized women.
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